Naw! I'm just playing. But that does sum up what most women may believe about the average man who chooses to step outside of his monogamist relationship to seek other amenities from another.
When I think about this topic and other ways of life that we as American and Western civilized people live by I ask myself Is this natural or is it man made/ influenced?
When I say natural, I'm simply speaking of things that are of us like judgement, temptation, jealousy, anger, joy, desire, ideas, creativity, etc. These are things that are whole heartedly apart of our human nature. What we decide to do with these human emotions and characteristics are often influenced by society but they are indisputably apart of our genetic makeup. When I speak of things that are man made and/or influenced, I am speaking of things such as religion, laws, rituals, traditions, etc. These are things that are for certain in the hands of man.
So back to it. Cheating as we so loosely call it, is it natural or is it man made/ influenced perception?
I think this a very important question to ask. I am reading a book titled The Art of Living:The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness and Effectiveness, which is an interpretation of the philosopher Epictetus by Sharon LeBell. This book discusses subjects such as seeing things for what they are, knowing what you can and can't control and one of my favorite, events don't hurt us but our views of them can. In short these topics are stating that people do what is naturally of them and their actions aren't necessarily negative but the way we perceive them are. Is cheating, as we call it, a defining factor of a man? Does the action of seeking companionship from someone outside of his monogamist relationship make him any less great or take away from the fact that he loves his lady?
Lets talk about it. Desire and temptation are things that are of us. These are natural emotions that make up who and what we are. Again, the book I am reading talks about knowing what you can and can't control. A human can not control if they are or aren't attracted to another person nor if they desire qualities that a person may have such as stimulating conversation, a certain body type, personality traits, etc. Yes, we can control if we act on these desires and temptations but why should we have to fight something that is so natural to our humanity? So I guess the bigger question is Is monogamy the answer? Should we live by it especially being that it so commonly doesn't work with most male species. Cultures throughout the world have discovered this answer already and live by it and live happily. Polygamy. Is it the answer? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. I'm just a spectator of life and a writer and free-thinking man. Lol. I've said a lot. Not sure if it all ties together as I originally set out to but HEY, this is what you get.
In closing, is he cheating or is he just doing what is naturally of his genetic make up? Is Americas' monogamist standard of love and companionship being forced on us or are we just simply too undisciplined to handle one partner? Tell me something!
P.S. I'm not justifying the so called CHEATING. I am just bridging a better understanding. Peace. Reshare and comment.
Awesome. You're such a great writer. I agree that it's not natural.... at all. History says so. What's unacceptable is when you do it behind someone's back and have them looking stupid. It's unacceptable to secretly step out on your partner because you then endanger their lives and health.
ReplyDeleteI firmly believe you can have all that you desire, you just have to get it with people who are accepting of your desires. Like be with someone who likes that and create an understanding that y'all can have relations with outsiders then it won't be cheating and you don't have to hide.
You can't force it on someone.
Why.......
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't know what to say since in other countries, polygamy is open and common. The main thing to me is communication and understanding that will justify if this is unfair or uncontrollable. The way of the man should have some type of principles to keep them stable in the world but his freedom to roam and take on anything he desires is ok as well. The same goes for women but it all really starts with understanding each other and keeping it real.
ReplyDeleteI read it. I believe it's cheated in your partner has the impression that the relationship is monogamous. If it is in agreement that both parties want an open relationship then have at it. I don't think it's that difficult to just be with one person but for whoever finds it difficult should be with people who feel the same. Polygamy and monogamy are both practiced here and world wide. I personally don't believe in it but I wouldn't judge someone who does.
ReplyDeleteWe're pressured to remain monogamous because society teaches us that monogamy is what's right. Our society was founded on Christianity. There are countless scriptures that convict polygamy therefore making the man who forsakes his monogamous relationship a cheating lying dog. So to answer your question; "Is polygamy the answer?" I guess it all depends on your belief system. Polygamy is illegal in the United States, even though it still happens everyday the legal system won't recognize it so good luck trying to relieve the legal benefits of being "married" to two wives or husbands.
ReplyDeleteIt all boils down to communication. If you want to have an open relationship, communicate that with your partner. Most men lie about wanting to see other people out of the fear that they won't be able to have their cake and eat it too. Maybe if more men starting being more upfront with the women they dated it would leave less of a gray area for miscommunication and hurt feelings. Most relationships these days don't work out because both parties aren't 100% upfront about what they hope to get out of the relationship. Sure, everyone wants that one person they can depend on, call on, lean on when the weight of the world proves to be more than what one person alone can handle. But what about those days when you feel on top of the world? You walk in the bar, bank, supermarket and you feel like you could snag every man/woman in the room. Let's be honest, we have those days. This is where the challenge sets in to be monogamous, to not fall for the temptation to flirt, because entertaining someone of the opposite sex when your in a relationship counts as cheating. People cheat everyday and don't even realize it.
Bottom line, do what you want, but if you're going to ask someone to take on the trials and tribulations of life with you have he decency to be honest and keep the line of communication open. They deserve that much.